Did you notice? Even before 2023 rolled around, ads for weight loss appeared on TV. Many made resolutions for the new year even before the ball dropped in Times Square. Maybe you did too.
New Year’s resolutions are certainly not a new thing. Even in the early 1900s, these noble declarations centered around three topics: having a stronger work ethic, developing moral character, and restraining oneself from earthly pleasures.
Over the years, resolutions have evolved from denying physical pleasures to general self-improvement. Medical sociologist Natalie Boero of San Jose State University has suggested that twenty-first century resolutions also reflect one’s status, personal wealth, and self-discipline, an echo of New Year’s resolutions from decades ago. Items in both charts tap into an ancient and powerful longing for a fresh start.
For me, keeping my friendships and connections with family remain high on my list of priorities for 2023. Call it a resolution, but I intend to stay in touch with my friends and family as often as possible. One friendship I’ve treasured over the years is with Carolyn Phanstiel, a colleague at Florida State College.
Carolyn and Marian celebrating birthdays at a faculty tea at my house, 1999.
Carolyn Phanstiel and I have been friends since 1987, the year I met her at Florida State College, then a two-year college in Jacksonville, Florida. We have forged a fine friendship over the years, she from Queens, NY and I from Rheems, PA. One of our last activities together as English profs was writing companion pieces of our lives for our children: complimentary stories of our school days, celebrating holidays, and the trials and triumphs in our personal lives. In fact, Writing Rheems and Queens sowed the germ of an idea for publishing my own memoir.
We are both retired now and I see her less often, but every year she sends a Word Gift at Christmas time. Here is one she sent last year. The matching quiz for 2022 came in early December, always my first holiday greeting. And always, signed with the sentiment “Oceans of love”!
1E 2D 3A 4C 5B
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Speaking of words, every year since 2015, I’ve selected a word for the year. One year my guide word was “Intention.” This year I have chosen this word:
Breakthrough
To me, “Breakthrough” means: any significant or sudden advance, development, achievement, or increase, that removes a barrier to progress – adapted from dictionary.com
“Early Morning Run” print of pastel painting on paper artist Cliff Beaman
I hear bold intention in the word breakthrough: vivid vision, audacious action and hilarious hope, goals for my personal, family, spiritual, and work life this year.
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Have you made a resolution for this year? Or chosen a special word for 2023?
What are you especially looking forward to in this new year?
Good morning, Marian! Valuing friendship and keeping up friendships is a wonderful goal. It’s also supposed to help keep people happy and healthy. I like “Rheem and Queens.” 🙂
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions or pick a word of the year.
Marian, I’m grateful that we were able to connect with you and Cliff three years ago during our visit with you on our way to Tampa. Re-establishing the “Martin” connection has been very good.
Howard, I certainly agree. We’ll have to make some more plans in 2023! 😀
Good morning to you too, Merril! You pack a mighty punch with your writing (both poetry and prose), so obviously you don’t need NY resolutions or a guide word to steer you through the year. Thanks for appearing here so early. 😀
Good evening, Marian I think valuing a friendship is a great goal however I no longer make resolutions or choose a word my road to fitness started around August so wasn’t a New Year resolution…Hubby however has opted to give up smoking as has my son and so far both are doing well and I am encouraging them as much as I can as I would love it if they both succeeded.:)
Oh, Carol, I can’t think of a more worthy goal that giving up smoking. Kudos to your husband and son for attempting this–and to you for cheering them on.
I wasn’t going to choose a word for 2023, but I heard “breakthrough” about a week ago that resonated with me, so I went with that. Thanks for chiming in here once again.
😀
You are very welcome, Marian I am so happy they are as I don’t smoke so I am having to think of yummy snacks for when they get the urge to have one that won’t pile on the pounds… I think breakthrough is a lovely word for you… 🤗
I’m waiting for the breakthrough God promised me, which your blog has confirmed by your use of the word BREAKTHROUGH 😊😊😊
Linda Marie, I will surely join you in hoping and praying for your breakthrough. Do share when it happens. This verse speaks to me too: 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. 😀
I love this post, Marian. And I love the verse that inspires you to seek a breakthrough this year. I think I will write it on my wall. 🙂 I got 100 percent on the quiz. Do I get a virtual gold star?
Shirley, you are whip-smart and widely read, so your perfect score does not surprise me. Sadly, I fell short.
I’m glad this post inspired you. Onward! 😀
Friends like Carolyn are a blessing. I’m fortunate to have a “Carolyn” in my life. I don’t do resolutions either. One word has worked for me the past ten years or so. I remember breakthrough was one I chose. My word this year is confidence.
I think “confidence” pairs well with “breakthrough.” Thanks for sharing that, Jill, and your friendship as well. 😀
I’ve got a lot to say about this thought-provoking post, Marian. My first observation is I’m not surprised that weight loss made both lists. Since retirement, I’ve been dedicated to getting to the gym. Every January I see a host of new people. I commend them for trying to get fit. Sadly, by this time, many have already caved in and lost their commitment.
Next, I can’t help but notice that things like “improve my character” are lacking on the modern list. It makes me sad that such an undervalued human characteristic is no longer there. It demonstrates what a materialistic society we’ve become.
I’m impressed with Cliff’s artwork. He has captured the look of an early morning runner. Great use of shadows and lights and darks to bring out the runner’s muscles.
Much like you, I treasure my longtime friends. I hadn’t planned on it, but I’ve become that person who organizes friend get-togethers from different parts of my life. For example, I organize a monthly retirement lunch for our retired school personnel. Much of the talk centers around travels and grandchildren, but someone always has news of an unexpected outcome (both good or bad) for individual students.
I also wanted to tell you that after listening to your engaging podcast with Dr. Katherine, I reached out to her and we chatted yesterday. Lots of snafus as far as the technology, but that probably was something from my end. She’s a great lady. I enjoy blogging about people, so I’m thinking about writing a post about her.
Whew! Sorry to be such a blabbermouth. that’s what you get for writing engaging posts.🤣
“Wholehearted” is a word that suits you; it fact one year it was my Word for the Year. I’m honored that you scrutinize my posts faithfully and tell me what you think, Pete. Blogging is like having a conversation in slow motion. Ha!
The Carolyn in this post is the person who has organized our get-togethers. Since COVID restrictions have eased, we need to plan another one, usually at a seafood place near the river. A big nod to you for organizing your socials. And also, for reaching out to Katherine. If your tank of enthusiasm goes dry, she’ll help you fill it up, that’s for sure.
I’ll pass the compliment on to Cliff. He’s been slaving away at visuals for the marriage memoir with a deadline coming up soon.
Huge thanks for all the ways you show up here, Pete! 😀
Hi Marian,
This article is so good. I too keep up with my family and friends and especially a woman from my university days. I look forward to giving her a hug in person. Have you and your friend ever thought about co-authoring a memoir of your time together? I like the names Rheems & Queens. It would be something different, a memoir from a different angle.
And yes, I have a word and I choose mine at the beginning of every year. What I don’t do is make a New Year‘s resolution. I like to write out my goals and look again at my vision that I‘ve written my journal and see where I am.
I sincerely wish you the kind of „breakthrough „ you desire for 2023.
Take care.
Shalom aleichem
You are a busy lady, and intentional too, a trait that I’ve seen reinforced on your daily blog posts during the month of January. I believe Carolyn will read this post today and maybe will have a response to your idea for co-authoring an expansion of the Rheems and Queens idea.
Thanks for including us at “plain and fancy” in your busy days. Peace and joy to you too, Pat! 😀
Beautiful picture of a beautiful friendship, Marian! I notice your friend has a furry creature on her lap. I wonder if she used it when she taught her classes. I always took a little furry hedgehog to my German language class. I bought it in Germany so of course it knew German. I was always amazed at how it relaxed the atmosphere in the room! By the way, I only got 2 out of 5 correct on your quiz! I’m not familiar with Sara Teasdale, but I got her and the Grinch correct! Have to think about my word for the year!
Neither you nor I did well on the quiz, but you are the first (and only) reader to notice the kangaroo on Carolyn’s lap. Back in our teaching days, several women faculty members chose an animal symbolic either of their personalities or of their relationship with students. Carolyn chose “kangaroo” and the one on her lap was a gift from another faculty member who knew she had a nurturing nature. Mine was swan, and I’m not sure now how that related to students. I do know, though, that swans mate for life–ha! (Of course, your hedgehog knew German!)
Thanks, Elfrieda for noticing details others may miss and for sharing your thoughts here. 😀
Swans are beautiful and graceful and I’m sure your students would have noticed that about you!
;-D
For the last several years I have had a word to stand by. For multiple years, that word was “journey”, and what a journey those were! Last year, the word was “pause” and indeed life paused as health issues came forefront and were addressed. This year, the word that was presented is “hearken”. Too early to tell exactly the reasoning behind that choice, but I am excited to see/hear/experience the why of it all!
Ginger, you are wise to consider your words and know when you need to pause and exercise self-care.
This morning on my walk in the preserve, I heard bird song. I hope you can hear cheerful sounds this day and into 2023. Blessings on your journey to better health! 😀
HI Marian, a lovely post. I always enjoy learning more about you and your life. It is wonderful that you have a good friend from your college professor days. I like the quotes she sent you, especially number 5. That seems to be more and more true, instead of the opposite which would be a sign of an enlightened and accepting society. Breakthrough is a great word. I haven’t thought about it yet this year but maybe resilience is a good word for me with year.
Yes, number 5 resonates with me too. It’s sad that we have to live in a world that doesn’t respect differences.
Robbie, you personify “resilience.” I believe that would be a great guide word for 2023. I hope it’s filled with joy and happy times too! 😀
Thank you, Marian. I am expecting 2023 to improve.
((( )))
Marian, I received a boost from your words this morning. My blog is so empty these days but I am working on a post that will explain why soon. I’ve been pondering a couple of words for 2023, but am still seeking a nudge from God that I’m choosing the right one. Love to you and Cliff as you walk together through 2023!
Sherrey, yesterday I was thinking about you, and today I see your smiling face. I like your writing style and enjoy your themes, whatever you write about. If you post it, I’ll read it. 😀
I’ll pass on your good wishes to Cliff. I hope 2023 holds happy surprises for you and Bob as well.
Keeping in touch with family and friends gets more important every year. I got a Christmas card and letter from a second cousin I haven’t seen in years and it made me so happy. I love your word, breakthrough is such a strong word. I almost didn’t pick a word this year but then, ‘savour the moment’, came to mind. This is something I don’t always do and regret it later. So I plan to be more mindful of enjoying the here and now this year. A great post, thanks. And I love Cliff’s painting. Excellent.
Darlene, believe it or not, I was not planning to choose a “Word for the Year,” but then I heard someone say the word on a TV show, and “Voila!” I couldn’t resist. Like you, I’d benefit from savouring each moment. I’m guilty of checking one thing off my list and then zooming to the next, a habit hard to break. 😀
Welp, considering this year I made NY Rejections instead of Resolutions and that one of my rejections is to forego a WOTY, I have no answer to your first question. BUT I am looking forward to walking in parks more often in 2023. Now that I have a retired husband lurking around the house, I have a chauffeur who can drive me to ones all over town. This is going to be good.
I like how you think, Ally, put the “lurking” man to work as your chauffeur deluxe.
About he WORD. I had decided not to choose a special word for 2023. Then I heard someone use the word “breakthrough” about a week ago, and it sounded like an invitation–haha! ;-D
Those resolutions were an eye-opener, so similar despite the span of 70 years.
One blogger noticed the differences, and you see the similarities. I believe I first noticed how similar the resolutions were. Thanks for your comment. And best wishes on all of your publications, Jacqui, especially book 3 of the trilogy. 😀
I am smiling because I also took the opportunity to consider and write about 2023 goals, you’ll see it very soon, lol. 🙂 I liked the comparison of Resolutions and how they morphed from denying things to trying to improve elements of your life. I lean into “enjoy life to the fullest.” I do have a friend I met through employment when I was in my 20’s, although we were both starting out and working in a popular restaurant in Chicago to make ends meet. We weren’t in our career jobs yet. We remain friends to this day. I also like your word “breakthrough” for the year. It is strong and positive. I absolutely hope you will have a breakthrough year Marian.
I see we both cherish long-time friends. This afternoon I talked to a friend I met when we were both in our twenties. To this day I think of her as a sister. We are reading the same book right now and call each other on a whim. I’m aware that such friendships are rare and to be treasured. I’m glad you have such a special friend.
Thanks for the good wishes in 2023. I look forward to you newsy post soon, Melanie!
😀
I have a dress very similar to the one you’re wearing in the photo. I don’t make New Year’s resolution. I perseverate for months and then do whatever it is I should have been doing.
Liz, I liked that dress but no longer have it. Carolyn said her shirt was flannel and I’m wearing something summery, so I’m not sure what was going on with that.
I believe you said that you procrastinate, but I don’t get that impression. You seem to be chugging along with wonderful writing to show for it. Happy 2023 and all that goes with it! 😀
Happy New Year Marion. I love these lines: “vivid vision, audacious action and hilarious hope”! xoxo
Thanks for the good wishes, Jenn. I admire your blog and the writing style that often shows your own audacious action and hilarious hope. I like the quotes too! ((( )))
Wonderful gift of words. And we can’t buy old friends. That’s a fact. 🙂 x
Thanks, Debby. Your video about friends and grief was so enlightening. Yes, indeedy, “we can’t buy old friends.” ;-D
Thanks Marian <3
Your face hasn’t changed a bit, Marian! You picked a very interesting word for 2023. I hope you’ll get breakthroughs on many levels. Have an amazing, inspirational, and satisfying year ahead!
Liesbet, I think you are looking at me with kind eyes. The photo with Carolyn was taken more than twenty years ago.
The wish for a breakthrough goes both ways. I hope you and Mark enjoy marvelous adventures in SA. Happy traveling, journaling, and all in good health in 2023!