โ€œAnother anniversary. After the 50th, whatโ€™s so special about that?โ€ Quite a lot, it turns out.

Cliff and I observed anotherย anniversary on August 5. We had just returned from a trip to Asheville this summer (where we spent our honeymoon 51 years earlier), but I didnโ€™t post then.

Iโ€™m posting now on the eve of my parentsโ€™ anniversary, October 26, the year before I was born.

In Retrospect

My parents loved each other dearly, of that I am certain, but they squabbled a lot, uninitiated as they were on the compromises required of a good marriage. But here they are, on a trip perhaps to Watkins Glen, both looking content, my Dad, especially.

 

They were married for 44 years. Then Daddy died.

Weeks later, I remarked to Mother, โ€œAt least you had 44 years together,โ€ well-intentioned words meant to comfort, but offensive and gauche, as I consider them in retrospect. I would never speak such words to a widow or widower now.

In a good marriage, there is never enough time.

 

Time Out

We took time out this August to enjoy the North Carolina mountains, staying in Wrenโ€™s AirB&B in Fairview, NC where we ate eggs from her free-range hens, felt soothed day and night with the sounds of a trickling fountain in a koi pond, and enjoyed the spit of flames in her fire pit.

 

Clickย on the link for a few seconds of soothing water sounds

KoiPond_5269

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At the Biltmore Estate, Chihulyโ€™s blown glass artifacts thrilled us, scattered through the bounteous blooms and water features in the gardens.

 

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Time to Eat, Pray, Love

Sharing lunch with Bill and Annette Schultz in Asheville, NC

 

Dress up at the Biltmore Inn

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PRAY

My husband does pray, here assuming a meditative posture in the prayer room of the chapel at the Cove; however, I think he is checking out photos on his cellphone.

 

LOVE

Melodie Davis posted a blog with a similar title a few months ago, both of us deriving the phrase from Elizabeth Gilbertโ€™s famous memoir.

In it, she passed on some wise marital counsel , beginning with โ€œThe annual setting out of our tomato stakes is often a barometer of our marriage.โ€ Then she included eleven tips for keeping love in marriage. Here are the first three:

  1. You keep the vows because you promised each other you would.
  2. You find ways to practice daily love expressed through a kiss, a kind word, a special smile, a favor or deed done for your loved one.
  3. You make getawaysโ€”weekend trips or longer if you canโ€”when it is just the two of you. You treat yourselves to the luxury of a nice motel or cabin or camping if thatโ€™s your thing, and enjoy the snuggles.

 

Watch your Words

Last year I offered more tips, expanding on the exhortation to โ€œStand on the Promises.โ€

Standing on the Promises: A Golden Wedding Anniversary

 

After All This Time

Kenny Rogers’ rendition

 

ย You are invited to comment on marriage, your parents’ or your own.

ย  And feel free to add tips.

Thank you!

 

 

 

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