Medical Musings and Playing with Words
Mercifully, I’ve skated through more than seven decades of life with few aches and pains. Over the years, my sympathy for others has extended to sending get-well cards, making phone calls and hospital visits. Sympathy—that’s what I’ve felt. Sympathy toward ailing friends and kin.
But now a metamorphosis has occurred; sympathy has transformed into empathy. Yes, Empathy, identifying with the feeling of others—compassion. Especially for those with chronic pain.
For me, since October new experiences have included X-rays, MRI scans, physical therapy, and now, plan for an injection.
Audible Sounds during an MRI Spine Scan
The technician says, “You can leave on your shoes but take off your bra!
He also asks, “Do you want to slide in headfirst or feet-first?”
Then, he offers me a noise-cancellation muff. Nevertheless, I soon hear. . . .
Clank-clank-clank-clank-clank as I am gobbled up by the TUBE
Wind-shield wiper sound
Jack-hammer sound # 1
Jack-hammer sound #2, more intense
Wind-shield wiper sound, again
Jack-hammer sound # 1
Jack-hammer sound #2, more intense
Jack-hammer sound # 1
Jack-hammer sound #3, worse
Clarion bell + Clank (2)
Wind-shield wiper sound
Jack-hammer sound # 1
Jack-hammer sound #2, more intense, ugh!
And so, on it goes for 15 minutes!
I haven’t been barbecued or baked.
But surely I’m DONE! And, I’m slid out of the metal tube feet-first! ~ mlb
Physical Therapy, aka PT
My spine is not fine.
In fact, it’s a royal pain–my backbone shaped
Like the letter S, compressed,
Squished on the X-Ray like a cartoon character
What to do? PT is prescribed. . . yes, physical therapy
Lower trunk rotations, letting lumbar and legs sway back and forth
Back and forth twenty times until it’s time for the piriformis stretch.
Stretch leg over other ankle—ankle on knee. Now press and
Twist leg up, up, up and over. That’s it!
Oh, my goodness! Augh!
Then clamshells, knees bent, feet touch as joined legs sway and hold,
Over and down; count them: twenty reps or more; remember to breathe, breathe
Feel the pain ease
Finish with lying hip abduction and seated hamstring stretch.
Then let go, let go, let goooo, my therapist says.
Remember to breathe, breathe, breathe
Will my spine ever be fine? ~mlb
The Pleasures of Reading. . . An Antidote to Pain
When I pick up “books on hold” at the library, sometimes I have no idea what titles I was enamored with and decided to put on “hold” days ago.
On my trip to the library, I muse, “What will I slide off the library shelf today, I wonder?”
For you, a bouquet of book titles
My library haul beckons me to a garden
Where I’ll learn The Secret Life of Sunflowers.
My harvest from the shelves also includes The Orchid Thief
Who stealthily creeps toward me
To sit at the Turquoise Table, by my side, unwelcome.
In late afternoon, I feel the urge again to pick at least one
Daisy a Day as raindrops begin to fall.
Day dissolves into evening and a remember that I
Could do with A Swim in the Pond in the Rain.
It’s too late for that though, so I’ll enjoy Signal Fires
Hoping such fires will mystically summon All the Light We Cannot See.
In the morning, my lover C. will whisper to me Hello Beautiful while I contemplate
Writing a letter to Dear Edward.
Such a traitor am I! ~ mlb
Titles cited:
A Swim in the Pond in the Rain Dr. George Saunders, analysis of Russian authors
Hello Beautiful Ann Napolitano, novel
Dear Edward Ann Napolitano, novel
Daisy a Day Indie author Harriet Hodgson, tips for managing grief
All the Light We Cannot See Anthony Doerr, World War II novel made into movie
The Chancellor Kari Marton, life of German chancellor Angela Markel
The Orchid Thief Susan Orlean, true story of beauty and obsession
Signal Fires Dani Shapiro, novel
The Turquoise Table Kristin Schell, inspiring way to encourage community
The Secret Life/Sunflowers Marta Molnar, Van Gogh’s sister-in-law divulges secrets
Playing with Words: Another way to Divert Pain
The Rhythm of My Days
Days of the week for me have a cadence, a rhythm, a routine.
They also have flavor and hue.
Monday – a slightly bitter taste, flinging the week into motion
Tuesday – a day to regroup; the color blue comes to mind
Wednesday – “hump” day for some; weekend in view: Yellow?
Thursday – now I have a grip on this week, some jobs accomplished: Green?
Friday – smooth sailing into the week’s final days, honey-colored
Saturday – lavender, let loose
Sunday – a few drams of dread; Monday breathing down my neck; gray perhaps ~ mlb
* * *
Words pressed themselves into her memory, like a shoe sole into soft mud, which would dry and solidify, the shoe print preserved forever. ~ Maggie O’Farrell in The Marriage Portrait
Can you identify with medical tests and/or with pain?
How do you distract yourself from a hurting body?
Do days of the week have significance for you? What words have you valued lately?
Oh dear; I can certainly EMPATHIZE with you, Marian. Stay calm, stay safe. And enjoy the holiday and fond memories. Jack (Conrad)
Jack, no commenter has a longer history than you and I do–from high school days! (Except when my sister comments.)
Thanks for checking in this early morn and for the good wishes too. 😀
Good morning, Marian! I’m sorry about your pain. I know you do Pilates, so I hope that helps you, too. Good health to you and yours in the new year!
I love words, but I can’t think of any special ones right at the moment.
My kids and I all have some synesthesia. They see the days of the week as particular colors.
Merril, you’ve piqued my interest when you mentioned synesthesia. Now I’m wondering what is the color or Monday (or Friday) for you. Thanks! :=D
I don’t have it like that. My kids argue over which colors days are though, so they don’t agree. I just have senses that sort of overlap–like color and scent/taste sometimes. And moods/feelings with certain spellings.
You are intuitive and very much in touch with your senses, one reason your poetry sparkles and shines. Art talent in many forms seem to run in your family, Merril! 😀
Thank you for your kind words, Marian! 😊
I’m impressed with your poetry, taking you through these difficult times of pain, but also progress. I hope!
I’m surprised by your count of days and Mondays being a bum day for you. I never stopped to think about it but for me:
Mondays are full of plans and time and projects that I will do. Things to write, people to see.
Wednesdays are sweet and fine but I begin to feel panicky, will I get this or that done?
By Friday I’m ready to clean up things.
Saturdays a hodge podge or time with hubby going out for breakfast or supper.
Best of all are Sundays: a time of rest, quiet, prayer and worship, okay not to do work, and looking forward to not cooking Sunday evening: just popcorn please, and maybe a dip of ice cream.
Thanks for your inspiration in helping me think about good/bad/interesting/sometimes exciting weeks! Favorite times: traveling, at least if things go well!
What a thorough reply, Melodie.
While I appreciate you good wishes for less pain, I know that many others have suffered longer–and worse.
Yes, I like traveling too. We do less of it now that the kids are nested here instead of Chicago, where we enjoyed visiting. 😀
Hi Marian, I am so sorry to hear you’ve developed back pain. I’ve struggled with it since I started tertiary education at the age of 18. I am a very uptight and tense person. I also have to do a bunch of exercises to relieve the pain and I have to exercise every day. If I don’t, I’m in trouble. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, Marian.
I’ve exercised intentionally since I began yoga and Pilates in my forties.
And I’m glad you find pain relief that way too. Thank you for the good wishes–and the same to YOU and your family, Robbie. 😀
Thank you, Marian. The boys surgeries seem to have gone well. Hopefully, I’ll have a peaceful holiday 💕
You deserve a respite, Robbie. Full of hope for you!
Thank you ⭐️🌟
Oh Marian!!! You’re in my prayers! So sorry you’re going through that pain!
My dad fell and is now in a rehab center for physical therapy.
When I’m in pain, I relax with a book too sometimes.
L. Marie, I’m astonished (gobsmacked, really!) at your generous and thoughtful gift.
I hope that your dad is experiencing pain relief from the therapy and that you both have a wonderful Christmas season and prosperous new year ahead. 😀
As someone who had their first back surgery when I turned 30, I feel your pain. Exercise is vital for a healthy back as is not sitting for prolonged periods. Wishing you and your family a peaceful holiday.
What you say is so true: I do believe sitting for prolonged periods with the marriage memoir this year exacerbated the problem. I walk each day and exercise most days.
You speak from experience, Jill. The author of ten (?) books, you understand how important it is to adjust one’s posture and move around often. Thank you!
For some reason ! like Monday. It’s a new beginning, I have specific tasks (still always do laundry on Monday) and I feel motivated.
You will enjoy reading the book about Angela Merkel. If all politicians were like her our world would be a better place.
So sorry you have pain. Hope the exercises will alleviate some of it.
Yes, I have read the book about Angela Merkel. She was savvy but not pompous or full of guile like many politicians. Bless her!
My mother always, always washed on Mondays. It seems I have more than one day for laundry. Thanks for the good wishes too, Elfrieda. I am sure exercising will help keep me limber and maybe even pain-free eventually! 😀
I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing bad pain, Marian. The few times I’ve had it, it’s been miserable. The worst pain I”ve experienced (aside from childbirth) was a broken wrist. Even after it was set, it hurt something fierce. I hope the exercises give you some relief.
Oh, so sorry! Long ago, one of our pastors fell on the sidewalk and broke his wrist. He, of course, was in excruciating pain while trying to preach a sermon the following Sunday. Afterwards, he mentioned how “out of it” he felt because he was on so many painkillers at the time.
Thanks for the good wishes, Liz. Hope you had a happy birthday too! 😀
You’re welcome, Marian! My husband saw to it that I had a very good birthday.
Could totally relate as I sustained an L-1 compression fracture the end of July when I failed to appreciate the five-inch depth difference in a new mattress upon waking and my feet flew out from under me. I finished physical therapy last month. The first couple weeks I thought I’d never be able to stand up and walk again and it was a long slow process, but you will feel better. Best wishes for a good recovery.
Oh, Jill, I hurt just reading of your experience. When we first moved into the house we live in now, I didn’t realize there was a step down into the garage and went flying. I had skid-marks on my back at the time, but otherwise–no broken bones.
Thanks for sharing your story and also, for the good wishes. 😀
I am extremely sorry to hear about your back pain and resulting MRI. I have been through many tests and procedures, sometimes using nuclear radiation (!), but never an MRI. My brother-in-law gets claustrophobic and hates them. It is very rare of you to talk about health issues. You are always positive, so I know this is a BIG problem. I’ve been going to a Tai Chi class for several years now and I do like it, especially the meditation component. It also helps with balance. Anyway, I am thinking of you Marian and hope they will find a solution which keeps you pain-free. Merry Christmas! ♥
And Merry Christmas to you too, Melanie.
You have been a trooper through all of your treatments; I’m glad now you are using movements like Tai Chi to help maintain your health and a good outlook.
You are right, I don’t like to complain, but it seemed to me many could relate by discussing my experience with pain. And it looks like that is the case here. 😀
😀 I only wanted to bring up Tai Chi in case you hear of a class near you. There is some interesting healing with it. But Yoga is a strong option too. Also, I didn’t mention the rhythm of your PT poem. I felt it and enjoyed it.
You are so kind, Melanie. An extra thank you for mentioning the rhythm, especially since I don’t think of myself as a poet.
Oh, Marian, I loved your description of having an MRI. I’ve had several and you captured the sounds so well. I laughed out loud. Today I go see a new doctor about back pain, so I can completely empathize with you. Here’s wishing relief for the both of us (and prayers, too, of course).
Oh, Linda, when we laugh we feel pain less, a good thing.
Sorry you have back pain, but glad you can relate. . . and find a solution, I hope. My happy good wishes for a joyful Christmas season for you and your family! 😀
Oh dear. I’m sorry to hear about your back pan, Marian. I hope the PT helps. I had some shoulder/upper arm pain and my doctor wanted me to do PT. But I do yoga and it seems to be going away. I have never had an MRI and hope to avoid it as I’m very claustrophobic. Sounds like you were very brave. I love how you fit the titles into the poem. Looks like happy reading ahead.
As you well know, reading helps get our minds off ourselves, but still it’s good to face challenges with healthful activity like Yoga or Pilates. I prefer exercising to pain pills which didn’t do me much good. Thanks for all the good wishes; have a joyful holiday season in Spain, Darlene. 😀
I’ll read your MRI poem to Stuart when he gets home. He will identify with all the noises and feelings I am sure. None of us get out of this existence alive, and all of us have at least some pain in our lives. May your present pain subside, your treatments bring you relief, and your bright spirit continue to be a testimony of life, language, and love to many. Wishing you and Cliff a blessed Christmas.
Thank you for your upbeat Christmas letter. You and Stuart have persevered through a challenging year highlighted by lots of family gatherings and travel.
Your comment took me back to Mildred Armstrong Kalish’s Little Heathens, her memoir about tough times and high spirits on an Iowa farm. I believe you’ve read it too.
Again, thank you for your recent letter and for a cheery comment here, Shirley! 😀
This comment from my sister JEAN FAIRFIELD:
I’ve just begun a Therapeutic Yoga class.
Aftermath of session #1. Ouch; I can barely walk; I just might topple over; who knew my lower back could hurt this much!
My instructor advertised “create personal belief in the body’s power of self-healing.”
And so I choose to believe:
Sessions #2 and #3..etc. will produce the desired results of stress relief, range of motion improvement etc.and the promised power of self-healing.
She did end with placing a very warm compress over my eyes and rubbed eucalyptus/lemon oil on the palms of my hands.
This could be good. This could be very good.
Namaste
Jean, I too believe in the body’s power to heal, and yoga poses should help it along.
Also, “placing a very warm compress over your eyes and rubbing eucalyptus/lemon oil on the palms of your hands couldn’t hurt either. Especially if it’s someone else’s healing hands. Ha! 😀
I’m sorry you are going through this pain and discomfort, Marian! Yes, I’m familiar with MRIs (and the sounds – usually, they ask me what music I want to listen to and they play that through the headphones), X-rays, and the like, but I’ve never had PT. I wouldn’t be anywhere long enough to get professional help. That’s why I never got braces at an older age either.
While our traveling days are all quite similar, I still put value to the weekends. Usually, we do a special breakfast on Sundays. No colors related to the days. These weeks, I’ve been extremely exhausted as we’ve hosted family, drove a lot, ate out every evening, entertained and made all the decisions and research, and we’ve both been working a lot as well. Phew! We need a vacation!
Liesbet, thanks for taking time out to comment here. Life is intense on the road but it sounds as though you are having a good time with family. I wonder if they are American or Belgian.
I hope you get a vacation soon: maybe the end of the year. Happy thoughts to you, Mark, and Maya. ((( )))
I am very sorry to hear about your pain, Marian, and I hope all the exercises and therapy will bear fruit and you won’t suffer for long. Take care and get better soon.
You too are an empathetic soul, Fatima. Thank you!
All the best to you and Peter now and in the new year ahead. 😀
You have my deepest empathy, dear Marian. I had an MRI just last month, on my knee. You described the ear-piercing experience very well. I finally saw the surgeon day before yesterday, on Mad Monday. Long story short: I need a knee replacement. I don’t wanna!!!!!!
Oh, NO, to the knee surgery.
And, oh YES to relief from pain. When you decide to go ahead with it, I hope you’ll find relief.
All the best to you and your family this season and in the year ahead, Linda Lee! 😀
Thank you, Marian. Here’s something very weird: my husband had a right knee replacement in August. I injured my left knee about 6 weeks later, when we still had physical therapists coming to the house to help with his recovery. I said, Lord, did You allow this to happen so I would have more empathy for my hubby? I don’t know the answer to that, but after turning 70 back in May, I have discovered the truth behind this saying: Getting older ain’t for sissies!
Yes, Linda Lee, you’ve come to the same conclusion as I: If our suffering produces empathy, it is not in vain.
And, I couldn’t agree more: “Getting older ain’t for sissies.” that’s for sure.
Thanks for the follow-up here!
This is my life, Marian. I do a series of stretches every day after weeks of physical therapy. It helps along with walking. I try to stay away from pounding exercises like running or jogging on a treadmill. My doctor told me it’s arthritis, and it’s simply managing the pain now. I’ve also had the MRI and two cortisone shots over the years. The one in my arthritic knee helped immensely, but the one in my back had no effect.
Here’s a report from the trenches, Pete. It sounds as though you’ve been through the mill, so to speak.
Yes, I gave up high impact exercise years ago, and I don’t miss it. Pilates and P.T. I can live with. I know your approximate age, so I guess I should be happy I haven’t broken down before now. Thanks for reporting in! 😀
Ohhh, I’ve heard that clack clack bang bang thump thump several times, which is several times too many. The first one was a brain MRI, and my guy was allowed to come in and rub my feet while I went through it (claustrophobic am I). It helped. I certainly hope all these modalities help with your back pain. I believe strongly in yoga and how yogic positions and stretching help the back (and neck and shoulders and … etc) so much. I’ve also heard back sufferers who have acupuncture weekly, and they have had good results. Oh, and have you used that hot/cold lotion that soothes the back? It’s in CVS etc and you just rub it on. Really helps (says one who knows…) 😉 Love your book choices. xoxo
I believe the only reason the doc ordered a brain MRI was so he (she) could detect the source of your creativity. Honest!
Monday I got a shot in the spine area, and I believe it may be working to reduce inflammation. About the other remedies. I’ve done Pilates for years and years and will keep on doing it because it helps balance and body toning and in the long run may reduce pain. Otherwise, I’ve been offered salves and liniments, non-narcotic pain meds to no avail. If this is the worst that happens to me, I’m a lucky gal. And that’s the truth.
Thanks for all this, Pam! ;-D
I understand Marian. I agree. As we age the aches and pains increase, but oh how lucky we still are. And how did you guess? Scientists from around the world probed my brain but no one found the spark of creativity inside. It’s hidden deep. 🥰
What a HOOT! 😀
Hi Marian. Thanks for sharing your MRI journey wish us. That does sound painful. I will tell you that after losing my husband, I spent a year like a numbed vegetable. I didn’t care about anything, including eating or exercise. It literally took me a few minutes to straighten out after getting up off the couch. Once I was finally coaxed to join a gym, I began taking (and still am) taking three to four classes a week, Yoga, Pilates, Tai chi and Zumba. I couldn’t do half the moves for a few months, but after a year, my posture and agility are back. I would highly recommend Yoga and/or Pilates stretching to help.
Oh and I loved All the Light You Cannot See – both the book and the Netflix series was quite well done. Hugs <3
I so well remember after your darling puppy passed you told your friends online you could literally not breathe. And I believe it. Since then, someone described the death of a husband (or, wife) like having someone pouring concrete into your body. “You can’t move,” they said of how immobilized they felt from the great loss. You surely must have experienced something similar and understand.
But now, you can advise and encourage others because you have not given up. Blessings to you, Debby. You are prevailing. 😀
Oh Marian – I do hope you are feeling better. Back pain is the worst and there never seems to be a simple fix. I had back surgery when I was 28 and felt much better afterwords, but now if I don’t take care, some of the old nerve pain comes back. I’ve only had a breast MRI (all good) but I remember all the clanging. Hoping the new year brings you relief and lots of good books to read 🧡
I certainly empathize with you. I’ve lived with chronic pain since I was 32 and have spent the last 18 months barely able to walk. I’ve started bi-monthly self-injections (nerves of steel. Not!) and I am slowly reclaiming parts of my body. It’s tough, but each day is a gift. And, we have perfect Heavenly bodies to look forward to. 😋Be patient and kind with yourself.
Oh, Jenn. I consider you a spring chicken–so much younger than I, yet pain is not partial to age. You have such a great attitude and I’m glad you have seen some progress.
I often think about the perfect, Heavenly bodies we will have some day.
Thanks for sharing here! ((( )))
Yes, I know what pain is and totally empathize with anyone dealing with it. I’m sorry you’re having to tough it out at this time. Being proactive, as you are, is a great way to take control of it. The day of the week I identify with is Sunday- a family day spent with my children and their families while sharing a meal. Interesting post, Marian! 🙂
Good for you–all around.
Your Sunday get-togethers may yield some good fodder for the humor you share. Thanks, Nancy!