The Back Story from 2016
The photo of a pair of transitions eye glasses attached to a scarlet lanyard is still posted on my Facebook page dated April 14, 2016. “Hubby makes a lanyard for my glasses today. He is not just being kind. He simply doesn’t want to look for my glasses anymore! . . .
Well, yes, he is being kind.” Those were my words.
Comments came from Facebook sympathizers and a naysayer: “Funny that I got a store bought one in my Christmas stocking.” “Doesn’t look very practical. I predict you don’t use it much.” Another commented, ” I can absolutely relate!”
Through the Looking-glass
Here’s how the glasses’ story subsequently unfolded: On Friday, April 29, 2016, I went to my power-pump class at the gym. Obviously, I wore glasses to drive there and back. I’m nearsighted and pose a threat on the highway without them. Why, without glasses I might have a wreck.
That evening, we saw a scary Netflix movie, a British gothic flick “The Making of a Lady.” I must have worn my glasses then. I don’t remember squinting or sitting up close cross-legged to see the screen. I also don’t remember whether my lanyard was around my neck or somewhere else at the time.
The next morning, I planned to drive to grandson Curtis’ soccer game at 8:30 a.m. At 8:10 I grabbed my keys and my glasses. My g – g – g l a s s s e e s s s. Where are they? Too embarrassed to ask Cliff for help right away, I scoured the usual places: My computer desk, my dresser, the coffee-table, the kitchen counter. I couldn’t even find my back-up pair usually sitting snugly in the console by the driver’s seat.
Then, I go into full-out search mode. With and without Mr. Red Lanyard Maker, . .
- Look on every surface without a flashlight.
- Check every surface with a flashlight, lifting seat cushions.
- Walk outside and check the patio furniture, flower-bed containers.
- Re-visit the front porch table.
- Repeat steps 1 and 2 at night. With different lighting, I hoped I’d catch a gleam of glass with my flashlight, after five hours of searching all told.
- I awoke with a jolt at 2:00 A. M. with the strong image that my glasses had fallen off my lanyard and into a garbage bag. Then I cull through two plastic bags of trash to no avail.
- I prayed ardently. After alI, I do remember the story of the Woman with the Lost Coin of the New Testament story in Luke 15, a woman who lost one of her pieces of silver, lit a candle, swept the house, found it, and called her friends together to celebrate. I was ready for celebration!
I did call off the hunt on Sunday, yet kept an eye out. There is always a chance for a miracle. Maybe those two shiny lenses would spontaneously appear.
Sunday afternoon, the highly-motivated Red Lanyard Maker drove me to LensCrafters to fix the problem. After all, Mr. RLM can’t chauffeur me around indefinitely.
At the office, I got an eye examination, another prescription, and new glasses with identical frames, all promised in a fortnight.
At the moment, my lanyard is securely hugging my neck with glasses attached. More mindful? Good Lord, I hope so.
To this day, I haven’t found my glasses. Nor have the back-up pair appeared either. How had some sprite spirited away both sets of glasses? Odd and distressing! If the originals make their appearance, I’ll be thrilled to use them as my spare. Sound familiar? Yes, you may have read this story on my blog in 2017, but there’s MORE!
Followup: Six years later (2022)
For me, wearing my eyeglass lanyard is an off & on proposition. Sad to say, I get distracted and forget to don the red lanyard as part of my morning routine. However, one May morning I was wearing my glasses, an updated prescription but with similar frames. I am proud to say they were securely fastened on the tiny metal loop dangling from the lanyard. But then they disappeared. Vanished! Spirited off into the Land of Lost Lenses!
My mind is clear in the morning. Usually. But the search is on.
Once again, the search is on. A similar scenario unfolds: Check on the usual spots with the naked eye. Then retrace my steps with a flashlight, hoping desperately for a glassy gleam to reflect back to me. Ten minutes in, I reluctantly summon my sidekick. Embarrassed again, of course. At long last, Cliff and I call off the search, and I dig out my spare, a backup pair, the ones with transition lenses but a weaker prescription. “They’ll have to do until I find my best pair.”
Then later, several days later in fact: “What’s this I see!? My husband had been rummaging around in our fridge’s freezer section to find his emergency stash of Chic-Fil-A coffee, frozen in case he runs out of fresh. To un-earth it, he has to move aside other products including a large pouch of Tilapia fish. Not believing his eyes, he notices an odd object–frosted lenses with two wine-colored arms barely visible.
Cliff brings them into the bedroom and presents them to me on an antique saucer. “This looks like something you have been looking for!” He had pulled out the my super-cold glasses, frozen at zero degrees Fahrenheit. Yes, frozen, But intact.
“Unbelievable! I exclaim, snapping a photo of my spectacles, alien in such an environment. Pulling out my visual friend by its arm (aka temple}, I gently lay it down on the granite countertop to warm up to room temperature.
“How did this happen?” the first question out of my mouth.
Apparently, the arm on one side of my glasses, slid out of the round, metal loop of my lanyard as I stooped to open the freezer door. And it nestled, perhaps with the smallest of sounds, under the pouch of fish. My visual “buddies” had lain there, slowly freezing, as I dashed around the house, looking, in a feverish frenzy.
I think of cliches, some with variation: “Hidden in [not-so-plain] sight.” or “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
But what if the prevention—and the cure—cancel out each other? Then what?
But what happened to the glasses you lost in 2016?!
I keep the glasses that I must wear to drive, in my purse. For everything else, I squint. Or enlarge the screen. I only read ebooks, now.
Linda Lee, I’m glad you’ve found a work-around that suits you. Thanks for sharing your story and for starting the conversation here. 😀
Hi,
I’m glad they were found by your hubby. If he hadn’t checked to see if he had coffee in the freezer, you probably wouldn’t have found them for another two or three months. By the way, I freeze my coffee also, and I keep my instant coffee, after it is opened, in the refrigerator. It tastes fresh every morning.
Have a lovely day.
Shalom aleichem
Good morning, Pat. . . except it’s probably early afternoon in Germany. I’m sure you’ve had your breakfast coffee several hours ago. Thanks for the good wishes today. Joy and peace to you as well! 😀
I have the same issue with my cell phone. I have to remember not to leave it muted – otherwise my husband can’t “call” when it’s been misplaced.
Same here! I spent an hour once looking for my phone!
Lynn and L. Marie: I’ve asked to be called several times, so I too have issues with my phone. I usually do NOT have my phone on mute, but woe is me if I did. 😀
I have my glasses on a lanyard as we speak! I would lose them on a regular basis and would have to ask my husband to find them.
I know you can commiserate, Liz. Thanks for echoing my sentiments here too. 😀
It’s good to know I’m not alone. 🙂
Absent-mindedness is rampant, especially in creative heads – huh?
I’ll go with creative heads!
Me too!
Oh Marian! I feel your pain! I once lost my glasses on top of my own head. For some reason, I lifted them there and got distracted, then had a moment where I missed them and looked for them, only to realize where they were. I have lost my cell phone in weird ways also. I once found my phone in the refrigerator!
People like artists and writers (like us!) live in our heads a lot, and are easily distracted. Fortunately for you, technology likes cool places. Why, your phone may have even worked better after it’s “out to lunch” session your refrigerator. Great story, L. Marie! 😀
Good morning! I’m late today, as I was out walking. What a story! I’m glad Cliff found your glasses! Did you dig under the piles of frozen food to see if your older pair was there, too? 🙂
Walking and taking scenic shots are the BEST way to start your day.
As to your question: The older pair were long gone, so no need to check: different house, different fridge. I keep my spare pair now in the console of our car: I can’t drive without my spectacles.
Enjoy your day, Merril! 😀
Oh, Marian! What would you do without Cliff? 🙂
So, I guess you never found the original pair of 2016? Unfortunately, many of us can relate to losing/misplacing our glasses. And, if yours are as important as mine, this is a disaster. I barely see without them these days and could not read or drive a car. Maybe I need a spare as well.
Did Cliff make you another red lanyard, or did that one survive from 2016? It is quite funny to lose glasses in a freezer!
Liesbet, the lanyard is intact. I’ll admit, at the moment it is around my neck, a simple red cord–with NO glasses attached. I do have a good idea where the glasses are now, and I have a spare pair (not as good) in our car’s front seat console.
You’re mentioning the date made me realize that I’ve had that “ornament” for over six years now. Thank you, my dear: I’m glad you found the story funny. My intent: to vent and to provide a moment of hilarity. 😀
I desperately needed a good laugh this morning, Marian! Thanks, and I’m glad others pray when they are desperately looking for something. Always helps me focus
I know you’ve had some unwelcome “drama” in your life recently, and I’m glad this anecdote helped you see the lighter side. Thanks, Elfrieda! 😀
Om my! Your glasses fell into the freezer. I’m sure it was something similar that happened to the pair in 2016. Perhaps they fell into the garbage. My glasses are permanently on my face, except when I’m sleeping. If they get lost it is shear panic as I can’t see anything without them. Once, the morning of a large family reunion, I laid them on the bed as I got dressed. Hubby dearest sat on the bed to put his socks on. You guessed it. He sat on my glasses and broke them. I had to attend the reunion with taped together glasses. Those of us who wear glasses do suffer.
Yes, I’m very sight-impaired without my glasses although my cataract surgery recently has given me clearer vision. However, I’d be hapless–and definitely accident-prone–on the highway in traffic. It’s interesting how the incidents that infuriate or embarrass us become the very best stories in retrospect. Thanks for adding your, Darlene! 😀
Marian — I have that problem with my phone, so I got a “Tile” that I keep on my keychain. If I misplace my phone, I can locate it with the tile. Likewise, if I lose my keys, I can find them with my phone. If I misplace both, I’m calling Cliff!
I have a Tile too, but it’s not attached.
If you were my big sister, I’d probably be more organized.
Wait! You already ARE: I think mentors count as big sisters. Right?
Thanks, Laurie, the perfectly-LY organized “sista'”! 😀
What a funny story! I’m so glad you have been reunited with your glasses! Who would have thought they’d be in the freezer! 😆
Oh, Maria, it is funny. But only in retrospect. At the time, the circumstances felt super-duper frustrating. Thanks! 😀
Hilarious events, if they weren’t SO frustrating l, not to mention embarrassing. I’ve been there! If it makes you feel better, my sister lost her cell phone and her husband found it, weeks later, in the freezer too! 😂😄😂
Thanks for repeating the story here, Kas. I didn’t know anyone else found glasses in the freezer.
It’s part of the human condition to be careless, hapless, and forgetful. Stories like these instruct us to take ourselves less seriously, I suppose, but only in retrospect. 😀
What a pain! I’ve had a similar experience and finally gave up the search, using a spare that wasn’t as good. About two weeks later I opened the top drawer on my sewing rack and there were my long lost glasses.
I’m glad your story had a sweet ending, Collie. In spite of frustrating moments, we find ways to cope. I’m glad you found your best pair in the end. That’s what counts! 😀
Being in our 80s this is a very familiar scenario. Usually it’s Bill’s cane, his reading glasses, or iPhone. But I’m catching up with him and it can be very funny at times but other times not so much!
Well, you know my story, and I’m glad you shared yours. Cliff never complains about losing his reading glasses maybe because he has several pairs lying about the house. He has been known to go shopping without his wallet, however. Thanks for adding spice to our table talk here, Joan! 😀
I get it, Marian, but two dogs aren’t a bit helpful in finding things unless the lost item smells like peanut butter or cheese. My old glasses are in the glove compartment of the car. (You inspired me to check and they’re still in the glove compartment where they’re supposed to be next to the registration and insurance cards.) My vision hasn’t changed that much, so they’ll do in a pinch. But where are the glasses I had on this morning to look at the butterfly in the flower bed? They’re around here somewhere. I’m glad to say I haven’t misplaced my hearing aid or cochlear implant, but where is that book I was reading and what did I do with the cell phone? I need to teach these dogs to be better retrievers. Thank God for Cliff and his sense of humor. Let’s all keep laughing!
You have the makings of a story here, whether or not you want to tell it sometime later on your blog. Yes, laughter is good medicine. I’m glad you enjoyed my wee elixir here, Elaine. 😀
Hi Marian, how nice of Cliff to make you a lanyard for your glasses. Losing such things happens to the best of us. I put my car keys in the refrigerator when I was pregnant and I did not find them for hours until I was hungry. I lose my cell phone all the time. I listen to audio books so I walk around with it and put it down when I do things. Everyone is always looking for my cell phone.
In spite of your tales of woe, you manage to be very, very productive–writing stories, books, and cooking & baking in the kitchen. I’m glad you too have family members to help keep an eye on things, Robbie! 😀
Hi Marian, I thinks its because I do so much that I lose things. I put them down mid-activity and then forget where I was when I misplaced it. Terence has alarms on all my IT items so we can find them when I put them in really strange places like among my shoes.
Terence is a godsend. . . your IT guardian angel. Thanks for the follow-up, Robbie! 😀
What is lost has been found. Loved reading this post.
Yes, and to think that next month I’ll be replacing the lenses on these through-the-mill frames. I think there’s a parallel in human experience, but I’ll let it go at that, Rebecca! 😀
Thanks for the giggle Marian! Lol I lost my clip on sunglasses 2 summers ago so this year I had to buy new glasses. I didn’t want to go through a 3rd summer without. My Dad found my sunglasses 2 weeks later under his seat in the car, and we had scoured that car a few times and missed them. Lol
I’m glad your story has a happy ending too, Jenn.
It strikes me that we lose items in direct proportion to their importance in our lives, or so it seems. You probably agree. Thanks for checking in with your tale! 😀
What a great story Marian! I can’t believe Cliff found them under the fish. 😂😂 What are the chances? I was visiting my mom once and we went out for lunch. Before we left her apt., I couldn’t find my glasses either. I had to drive without them. As we were looking over the menu, I glanced at my mom and saw she was wearing my glasses!!! Life has these crazy moments and you just have to laugh. And like you, I definitely would have gone through the trash in the middle of the night!!! There is just a drive to solve the problem. Thanks for a fun read.
Hi, Melanie, I had to approve your comment today–probably because of the name change. It should be A-Okay next time your reply though.
I like that you say there is “just a drive to solve the problem,” after you mention driving without your glasses, Yes, you just have to laugh sometimes–hahaha! 😀
Good to know about the name change, thank you for that info Marian. And luckily, I wasn’t driving far, under two miles. 😃
😉
Sorry, but yes, I’m laughing. And yes, of course, I’ve gone through similar ministrations. Some to no avail, some with avail (hmmm, is that grammatically, correct?) But I’ll admit, I’ve never found a lost pair of glasses/necklace/ring/my mind in the freezer. But now I know where to first look the next time I DO lose something special. :–)
Losing glasses in a freezer sounds like the stuff of fantasy–except that it’s true. Being absent-minded is the price we pay for exercising creativity, or so I tell myself. I’ll bet you could weave a fantastic story from one of your mishaps. Huh, Pam? 😀
Welcome back Marian! Lol, I’m still laughing at your ‘fishy’ tale – see, I made a pun 🙂 It is crazy where some things end up – not dissimilar to looking for a phone, lol. I keep a mask on a lovely chain made of semi precious stones by a friend in Mexico. It’s habit now, I keep at the front door with my keys. There are also hooks for glasses, but unnecessary for me because I can’t see anything without them so they are always on my face. 🙂 <3
You are the first to dub this a “fishy” tale which I think is the best pun, Debby!
If I were far-sighted, I wouldn’t have a problem. Like you, my glasses would be on my face. . . always. Alas, I have the opposite diagnosis.
P.S. Now I’m picturing you with your jeweled chain for your mask, so appropriate for my fancy friend! 😀
Uh oh! Glad they defrosted ok. Yes I could tell a story or 6 of looking for car keys, specs, cell phone. Like a headless chicken I go hunting – always to be found in the last place I look.?
Susan, thanks for sharing your version of running-around-like-a-chicken-with-her-head-cut-off! You know the feeling. Enjoy your weekend. Hope it’s “hunt-free”! 😀
🤣🤣 Such a funny story Marian. What a place to find them. I hate to tell you but I think it’s an age thing 🫢 My hubby is always looking his glasses , so much so , he refused to get them from the opticians and now buys rubbish ones from the supermarket …no hope !
I lost a cup of coffee once …searched all over the house for it .Found it a couple of weeks later in the microwave…hence when it broke I never replaced it …( the microwave not the cup of coffee) I only ever heated drinks in it .
Arnt we funny 😃
Ha Ha! Yes, we ARE funny creatures. I don’t think animals in the wild have such crazy antics.
And, yes, I do think it’s age. Although I’ve always been absent-minded, I do think my episodes of lost & found are getting more frequent.
Your story of coffee in the microwave is hilarious. I think the one about your husband is par for the course. My husband has to put up with me all the time. However, once in a while he leaves his wallet at home when he goes to the store. The punishment in that case is all his! Thanks for sharing, Cherry, always with an intriguing story. ((( )))
Haha! Marian – I loved this story. I don’t lose my glasses anymore because I got the progressive lenses so I wear them all the time. But I used to put them down all the time and wonder where they were when I needed them. How funny yours were in the freezer!
It’s funny now, but not then, as stories of this sort always are.
Since my cataract surgery, I’ll have to get a new prescription, but Doc says I can save expense by keeping the old frames. I tell you what: If they survived in the freezer, they can endure about anything–except extreme heat. God help me if they land on the stove sometime. Ha!