House on the Rock
“There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.”
― Homer, The Odyssey
The House Ways and Means Committee
For 52 years now, Cliff and I have been co-chairs of our House Ways and Means Committee
- We find ways to live within our means.
- We try to avoid being mean in spite of disparate ways of viewing the world, he being from Mars, and I from Venus.
- In conversation, we find ways to figure out what each other means.
The Flashing Fish of Hope
“A Pretty Sweet Thing”
No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again . . . . I’ve learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won’t stay submerged . . . . The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed. ~ Madeleine l’Engle
“You’re just tired!”
Emma was chopping vegetables for a stir-fry when Chris came home from work one night looking tired and stressed. When she asked him about his day, he just groaned.
Chris started thumbing through the mail . . . and found a Visa bill that showed that Emma had spent more than $100 on meals out with Alice and the twins. “I’m not made of money,” he grumbled.
Although she was tempted to snap at him, Emma had been married for a long time. She knew this wasn’t about the money, but about his day. She stopped chopping and walked over to him. She gave him a hand squeeze and said, “Oh, honey, I’m sorry you had a bad day.” ~ Mary Pipher, Women Rowing North, 184
Our Misunderstanding Under the Bougainvillea: Read about our own big blow-up on foreign soil.
According to my journal, this particular moment lasted “more than an hour and happened in Positano, Italy, a terraced town poised on a peninsula along the Amalfi coast by a vertiginous slope to the sea.”
Author friend Elaine Mansfield also attests to having a full-blown argument with her husband, which she records in a post, “The Art of Argument, Essential Marriage Skills 101. Theirs was not a fatal argument either, nor was it a final one, but her story reveals the art of restraint and more, especially at the brink.
My Title, Marriage on the Rocks, is both a Pun and a Teaser
In the photo above, we were sitting on the coquina “rock” of the Old Fort in St. Augustine, our first stop of a day trip getaway! As far as I can tell, our marriage has not yet hit the rocks!
The truth is, our marriage is built on The Rock, a shared faith in God’s power to hold us together, especially in tough times.
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. ~ Psalm 61:3
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust: my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. ~ Psalm 18:2
This sentiment is also expressed in a book co-authored by husband and wife Jimmy and Karen Evans:
Welcome here: Your thoughts on marriage and other relationships that need tending!
Note: The first quote has been attributed to Homer, author of the Odyssey. Goodreads, a creditable source, cites him as author. Still, I’m not entirely sure. So many quotations circulate in cyberspace, one has to wonder.
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