“Another anniversary. After the 50th, what’s so special about that?” Quite a lot, it turns out.
Cliff and I observed another anniversary on August 5. We had just returned from a trip to Asheville this summer (where we spent our honeymoon 51 years earlier), but I didn’t post then.
I’m posting now on the eve of my parents’ anniversary, October 26, the year before I was born.
My parents loved each other dearly, of that I am certain, but they squabbled a lot, uninitiated as they were on the compromises required of a good marriage. But here they are, on a trip perhaps to Watkins Glen, both looking content, my Dad, especially.
They were married for 44 years. Then Daddy died.
Weeks later, I remarked to Mother, “At least you had 44 years together,” well-intentioned words meant to comfort, but offensive and gauche, as I consider them in retrospect. I would never speak such words to a widow or widower now.
In a good marriage, there is never enough time.
We took time out this August to enjoy the North Carolina mountains, staying in Wren’s AirB&B in Fairview, NC where we ate eggs from her free-range hens, felt soothed day and night with the sounds of a trickling fountain in a koi pond, and enjoyed the spit of flames in her fire pit.
Click on the link for a few seconds of soothing water sounds
At the Biltmore Estate, Chihuly’s blown glass artifacts thrilled us, scattered through the bounteous blooms and water features in the gardens.
Time to Eat, Pray, Love
My husband does pray and here assuming a meditative posture in the prayer room of the chapel at the Cove, I think he is checking out photos on his cellphone.
Melodie Davis posted a blog with a similar title a few months ago, both of us deriving the phrase from Elizabeth Gilbert’s famous memoir.
In it, she passed on some wise marital counsel , beginning with “The annual setting out of our tomato stakes is often a barometer of our marriage.” Then she included eleven tips for keeping love in marriage. Here are the first three:
- You keep the vows because you promised each other you would.
- You find ways to practice daily love expressed through a kiss, a kind word, a special smile, a favor or deed done for your loved one.
- You make getaways—weekend trips or longer if you can—when it is just the two of you. You treat yourselves to the luxury of a nice motel or cabin or camping if that’s your thing, and enjoy the snuggles.
Watch your Words
Last year I offered more tips, expanding on the exhortation to “Stand on the Promises.”
After All This Time
Kenny Rogers’ rendition
You are invited to comment on marriage, your parents’ or your own.
And feel free to add tips.