I’ve been writing memoir for 3 ½ years now, three more if you count years spent blogging snippets that have become memoir chapters.. Truthfully, I’m ready for this part of the process to end. And it will soon.
The Tricky Mind
Since 2015, I’ve taken memoir-writing courses and know the rules of this genre, but writers’ minds like mine take mental leaps, shortcuts, because we have lived the experience and know the details of our lives inside and out. Yet, if we don’t slow the narration down with sensory detail or dialogue, the reader may become confused or worse, bored.
Now my manuscript is in the hands of another professional editor, who reminds me:
- Show, don’t tell. If you felt awkward in a particular scene, show what that looks like. Replace the telling statement with a sensory reaction or a dialogue exchange.
NO: “I felt awkward,looking around for a partner.
YES: “My eyes darted around the four walls, looking for a partner.
- Insert takeaways for the reader. Broaden the lens of your writing to make your story universal. Enable readers to see your experience as their own.
For example: At the end of the chapter on my trip West:
We both [Joann and I] took snapshots of a world that was expanding far beyond the prayer veils circling our heads and the boundaries of our provincial county. Pointing my camera lens both outward—and inward, I held still one instant in time. I recognize now that time was moving rapidly forward, curiosity pulling me toward a life of adventure that I thought must be waiting, a life of beauty and enchantment. And mystery!
Cut/Paste Redux
Until now I’ve used my computer to cut and paste passages that needed to be moved. But lately, I have performed major surgery. “You want to improve the flow,” my editor advised. Her suggestions made sense to me.
So, lines tumbled from chapter to prologue, from introduction into a new chapter. Wow! Folks, this process involved . . .
Getting Physical
On the floor with scissors!
- I could have used an ironing board. It’s GONE, vanished with the move! Besides, I seldom iron anymore.
- I could have used the bar above the kitchen counter, but it was too far away from my writing studio
- I could have simply used my computer to cut & paste. However, that didn’t work in this case, the only time I stooped to surgically excise and replace manuscript parts.
Once I traded parts within a chapter, so the kitchen counter trick did work then:
Mary Karr says, “In memoir, the heart is the brain.”
I say: Writing memoir is like doing open-heart surgery on yourself . . . for years. If you write consistently, you know such labor takes a physical toll on the neck and shoulders. Arms and wrists, even.
Reckoning with the Mental
Your effort to turn your memories into a coherent whole is both a literary endeavor (you’re writing a book) and a psychological one (you’re reconstructing and repairing part of your own psyche). ~ Jerry Waxler
Varina Davis on Memoir writing
Varina, wife of Jefferson Davis, the only president of the Confederacy, speaking of his writing memoir: “I ask him how the great work has gone today, and he always gives the same answer—Incremental advancements. Which I tell him is the most any writer might to expect.” ~ Varina by Charles Frazier
A tautological twist on the writing process in general: “It takes as long as it takes.”
Taking a Break, Easing the physical toll
Without kicking back on the patio staring at the lake, I would have missed the visit of the ducks, decked out here in camouflage suits.
“A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to [sit] and stare! ~ W. H. Davies
I saw the Christopher Robin movie
***
Why Bother?
Sean Thomas Dougherty offers one answer:
As a writer, can you relate to any steps in the revision/editing process?
As a reader, what aspects of editing surprised you?
Any other quotes to add? Bits of wisdom?
Great post, Marian!
With published books of your own, you do indeed understand the revision process. Thanks for being the first responder today, all the way from Australia, Linda.
It sounds like a mammoth of a task, Marian, and not for the fainthearted. I hope it will all fall into place very soon and you will be ready to publish the fruit of your hard labour. All the best!👍
Your good wishes mean a lot to me, a constant supporter since we first met, online, of course. Thanks, Fatima!
Always a pleasure to read your updates. 👍❤
👌
I can certainly relate to the aches and pains that go along with being hunched over a computer for hours on end, Marian. I’m knee deep in edits now and dealing with a severe case of tendonitis.
The fact that you use the keyboard during your day job makes your persistence even more remarkable. I admire your dogged determination, but our bodies somehow let us know when we’ve overdone it. I hope you schedule some breaks along the way, and wishing you relief from tendonitis, Jill. 🙂
Thanks, Marian! You’re right, it certainly doesn’t have time to heal. I’m hoping to rest it when I’m off work during the Christmas holiday. 🙂
The Christmas holiday seems a long way off; I hope you can catch some time to rest before then. Publishers love successful writers like you, maybe pushing them a little too hard? In any case, take care of yourself!
Good morning, Marian! I’ve done lots of editing over the years–of my own work and of others–so nothing here surprises me. I haven’t written a memoir though, and I applaud you for your efforts!
Usually I edit on the computer, but sometimes, not often, I print out pages when I have a lot to move about. I think I did that for one of the chapters written by a contributor for my recent Encyclopedia of Rape and Sexual Violence.
Good luck to you. I know this has been quite an endeavor for you, but I’m sure the final result will be well worth it.
I had to enlarge the photo to see the ducks. 🙂
You know even more than I do the trials of editing and revision. I can’t imagine doing it with contributors who may or may not be responsive to your suggestions. Thanks for your constant presence here, and always with encouragement, Merril. 🙂
You are always welcome, Marian!
Marian, I applaud your talent and fortitude and look forward to reading your memoir. Now I wish I’d kept a diary throughout my life. Maybe I’ll start one next month when I turn 65!
Thank you for the compliment. Your 65th birthday sounds like an ideal milestone to begin keeping a diary. Imagine having 30 years of stories at age 95!
The October issue of Guideposts features the tale of a woman who launched her acting career at 82, and declares she didn’t hit her stride until age 90. More power to you, Lynn!
I have proofread many things in life. Some my own writings, others were technical manuals, or legal documents. One of the most heartfelt? My husband’s letter to his kidney donor’s family, just last year. It’s not easy to open up your heart and expose it for all the world to see. Kudos to you, the memories stirred, and our chance to step in to another’s pair of shoes. Love Sean Thomas Dougherty’s words.
Yes, Ginger, memoir means opening my heart and life to readers, exposure of a degree I’ve not experienced before. The payoff, as you mention, is having someone else stepping into another pair of shoes, which I enjoy doing with non-fiction.
Thank you for mentioning your husband’s letter to his kidney donor’s family. You must have had some input on wording this poignant missive. 🙂
We knew he wanted to say how gracious a gift in the midst of grief, and demonstrate his commitment to honoring the donor. We tweaked it, read it aloud, moved things around. Placement of words and punctuation are critical when you lay your heart open to unknown readers, no matter the genré.
The letter is doubly a gift: words that honor the donor. Then, care in presenting it with perfect word placement and punctuation. Reading aloud reveals awkwardness and wrong/missing words that our eyes tend to skip over.
Plaudits to both you and your husband for such a thoughtful gesture!
Marian — The return on investment of your Herculean effort is a physical book that readers can hold in their hands and enjoy for years to come. I can hardly wait to read it!
Thank you for putting another spin on the word “physical.” With that I can agree.
Any day now we’ll being hearing about you physically holding your amazing first grandchild. WooHoo!
Wow, Marian! Thank you for taking us into the process of editing your memoir! I love that you want to produce a quality book. It’s worth the effort! (And yes, I have been there in the writing and editing process.)
I know you are an experienced writer/editor, as you blog reveals, Marie. Thanks for your support here — and, yes, it’s taking a while, but quality comes before a quick publication in my book.
Wonderful, as always, Marian!
Thanks for reading and commenting here often, Jack! 🙂
Oooooh, It’s getting close! This is great piece about those final days when editing becomes the magic and the writer is both excited and exhausted. Can’t wait to read your memoir, Marian.
I see you’ve used the words magic, excited, and exhausted in the same sentence. You obviously remember the feeling. Thanks, Joan!
It’s hard physical and mental work for sure. The reward, when another reads your words and s is touched by them, are priceless. Step by step. Enjoyed this glimpse into your process.
Your experience probably parallels mine in your first memoir, and beyond that, you have known the pleasure of your words touching readers’ lives. I look forward to all of that. Thanks, Linda.
The old saying, no pain, no gain comes to mind. All your hard work and perseverance will pay off when you hold that completed, published book in your hands. I know the frustrations of editing but it is well worth it when your book is polished to perfection. I like the Mary Karr quote a lot. Hang in there.
I’m not so sure about perfection, but that’s a goal I’m aiming for, Darlene. Thanks for always being part of my cheering section here, and goading me on with the image of so many published volumes of your own.
Thanks for some very helpful words of advice about memoir writing, Marian. Loved your last quote. It encourages me to keep on writing!
I found the last quote on another website, and it seems to fit my purpose. Like you, besides leaving a legacy for my descendants, I also want to offer encouragement to those with whom my story will resonate. Thanks, Elfrieda!
Oh Marian, this post is a treasure. I nodded YES through the entire post!! Memoir writing is grueling and exhausting work–physically and emotionally and you nailed the process. But a passion to tell our story drives us forward. You are getting so close and I’m thrilled for you. You have taken so much care with this story and I know it will be a gift to your readers. Brava, my friend!
Yes, Kathy we are on parallel paths with vastly different stories but the same drain on body, mind, and spirit. I’m glad you are taking the pause that refreshes. I’m due one too, maybe next week! 😀
Very interesting. Folks don’t realize how much work goes into writing a memoir. I didn’t! I’m not ready yet but maybe…
You are doing the right thing, Anita, recording family stories on your blog. That’s how I got started with memoir, one blog post at a time, with other themes interspersed. Not everyone has to publish a memoir, but the “maybe” in your last sentence leaves the door open to the possibility. 🙂
Marian, Thanks for taking us with you on this blissful journey of literary bliss.
Right now, this process doesn’t feel blissful, Conrad. In the retrospect, though, your adjective may apply. Some writers have told me that I may miss the effort though now I doubt it.
Thanks for stopping by with a comment today. 🙂
Oh Dear Teacher, My sentence contained redundancy. With profound shame I ask that you please strike “blissful.”
No worries. We’ll call it a tautological “take” in which case redundancy is acceptable.
Marian, when writers like you, who are far ahead of me on the writing and author journey. share their struggles, it gives me hope.
Although I am still writing the first drafts of a few final chapters, I was also editing the initial 3 chapters. I spent hours changing verb cases from future to present tense. I know I too will have to review the final manuscript when I get there in a few months, to review for the” show not tell” guidance. I tend to live in my head more than my senses, so this is a difficult exercise. However, in the cases where I have expressed chapter scenes in the “show” manner, I love the transformation. And, since my memoir is focuses on my transformation to an impassioned justice seeker, this is an vital change. p.s. I like playing with the cut and paste option for checking flow!
Many thanks for your post!
You’re welcome: you get the unvarnished truth here, along with my sometimes belated efforts in self-care.
Your practice of stepping back to appreciate the transformation in your writing is a healthy exercise, part of what will keep you keeping on. Thanks for sharing your personal journey here as “an impassioned justice seeker.” I applaud your goals, Audrey, and look forward to your book!
Just as your blog keeps drawing me in, I feel tugs towards the great effort you are drawing to a close.
Your phrasing intrigues me, Dolores, drawing you in and feeling tugs toward the great effort. I suspect we have a few experiences in common, particularly in the Mennonite heritage a generation or two back. Thanks for reading and commenting here, so appreciated! 🙂
Not anything I have attempted yet, Marian…Editing or memoir writing but a great insight into the process 🙂
It’s much like cooking or baking, Carol, perfecting the recipe until ypu get it right ~ or so I think ~ but experimenting with words rather than ingredients.
On the other hand, aybe you’d get that cake recipe right the first time. Ha!
Not always, Marian…I burnt the dinner the other night so I got a lesson from my grandson on how to cook meat…haha 🙂
It’s gratifying to know that we can learn from the younger generation. Thanks for adding this, Carol!
Marian, oh Marian! I soon will join you but getting down on the floor is beyond me. That’s why the interior of my studio will change a bit to include a nice foldable work table to do what you’ve been doing–surgical changes with scissors and tape. Thanks for this post which will be an encouragement and help to me as I begin this last revision.
A foldable work table is the perfect solution! Honestly, before now my cutting and pasting has been on my computer screen. However, moving manuscript parts from one section to another have required some calisthenics. I found later though that numbering the paragraphs helped me figure out a schmatic.
“Last revisions” sounds like progress, Sherrey, and you can execute it in such lovely surroundings. I LOVE your new studio. And Cliff (having met you) heartily agrees! 🙂
Wow thank you for taking us through this process! I’ve been wanting to learn more about editing!
Welcome to my blog and thank you for visiting, Diane. Not long ago, I posted a prequel to this that may interest you: https://marianbeaman.com/2018/08/01/memoir-progress-peaks-and-valleys/
Although I’ve taken memoir-writing courses, I’ve learned so much from my partner/friends online, so I’m always happy to share.
Thanks again for stopping by. 🙂
Lol Marian, that photo of you on the floor with your printed out MS looks oh so familiar! Yup, welcome to the world of editing and re-arranging. Good luck! 🙂
Based on the number of published books on your shelf, you must have done this six times . . . or more. Lol, as you say.
You can definitely relate . . . and commiserate! Thank you, Debby. 🙂
You’re on the right path Marian – you’re on your way my friend. 🙂 x
😀
Please tell Marian – what are you wearing in the photo of you in a red top, around your shoulders and under your arms?
Essential to take breaks every now and then from hard physical labour. There is much of value in doing nothing. I recall my boys saying Ma, I’m bored, I’ve got nothing to do … how lucky you are I would tell them. Lie on your backs on the grass and check out the clouds or sky and do nothing –
Yup it’s a sweat … of the good and healthy kind. I reckon if I’d had a table with a large surface I may have used that as a visual aid. I can imagine its benefit …
You have been down this path, Susan, as I know well from reading your blog.Thanks for empathizing. The halter I’m wearing is a shoulder and neck support to ease stress on shoulders and neck. However, if I have my nose to the screen too long nothing seems to help except a break. In a few minutes, I’ll be mailing my latest revisions to my editor and then I’m going to b r e a t h e for a week or so. 🙂
I think printing your manuscript out offers new perspectives. Yet, it isn’t something I have done or might do (mostly for logistic and financial reasons, without my own printer and ink and space). I’m glad to read you are making good process now.
My biggest memoir issue seems to be that lots of cutting is necessary. Yet, as you so well describe, one often needs more words to “show, don’t tell” and pull the reader in, so even more cutting would have to happen to keep the word count down.
What are you wearing at your writing desk, Marian? Is that something to help your shoulders/back?
Liesbet, I know you have a huge manuscript and mine is on the short side. In fact, my editor has suggested it needs to be longer (more detail, dialogue, etc.) I find that a little ironic since I have lived decades beyond your age. Then too, I may have forgotten a lot – ha!
Yes, the shoulder halter is to help compensate for the hours hunched over my computer. My daughter ordered a second one from her chiropractor for me to ease shoulder and neck pain and help posture too. Thanks for noticing! 🙂
I love your closing quote – it really encourages one to continue the effort. Bravo on your labours. I know that you are richer for them, and you will certain fill the wounds of others with your words. You go girl!! 🙂
Aw, thanks, Jenn! I’ve never blogged about my biggest wound. That’s one reason for writing this memoir. I love that Dougherty quote, which goads us writers on . . . in spite of it all!
As I see you day in and day out, many hours a day laboring to finish your memoir I can imagine a conversation from some of the characters in the great Disney Christopher Robin movie released recently:
Tigger: “Whappity Dippity Doo! Mariann, Mariann, You’re going to get to the top of this mountainy mighty mountain.” He twirls bouncing from tree to tree.
Piglet in his squeaky voice with hands folded at his chest: “Oh, Mariannn. It’s scary going up this mountain and I hope the Hefalumps aren’t going to get us.”
Eeyore in his low sad voice drawls: “Mary..y..yun. I don’t know why you even tryy. I know I wouldn’t do this. I would just sit under this tree and rest. Maybe someone will come along and haul me up the mountain.”
Pooh Bear, the bear with little brain says in his quiet voice: “Marian, I’m tired. Maybe you are too. Let’s just rest a bit. Sometimes I just sit and look back from where I came from…so I can take another step forward.’
Christopher Robin says: “Ok friends we’ve made great progress. Let’s put Marian in the middle and all hold hands as we climb this great big mountain together. Sometimes it’s tiring and hard to see where we’re going, but i guarantee you the view when we get to the top is great! Come on let’s go!”
You nailed the Pooh characters et al perfectly. Thank you! 🙂
Oh, Marian, that shoulder/neck brace you are wearing reminds me of the true rigors of the last stages of my own memoir. I feel for you. I think the physical challenges of the editing process surprised me more than any other issue or stage of the process.
Good news! Recovery is possible. I like seeing your toes on the chaise lounge. And your eager readers will help the hard labor memories fade away fast.
God bless you.
I trust your predictions, Shirley, way-paver and path-sharer.
Linda Joy Myers warned us of the physical challenges, but I brushed the warnings off with the thought,” I’m strong. I can plow through this.” But I recognize the fatigue as a passing phase and want to pace myself for lap 2 and 3, design and publishing + marketing.
Thank you for empathizing! 🙂
Writing a book is exhausting work! I love this peek into your process.
. . . and so is blogging for years on end as you do so faithfully.
Thank you for reading and sympathizing, Fiona! 🙂
I have a space on my bookshelf just waiting for your memoir Marian …take as long as you like it will still be there .
I simply love your husband’s contribution this week 😂 I have to go to see go to see Christopher Robin …it’s my kind of film.
Cherryx
What a sweet bit of encouragement, Cherry.
We enjoyed the Christopher Robin movie so much, Cliff took Ian, our youngest grandchild to see it. What a classic. Most of us can identify with each of its characters, some more than others. Thank you, thank you!
I love it, Marian. I’m trying to get to the kneeling on the floor place again, but was a bit side-tracked by months of mother-in-law drama. Whew! I remember having my office floor covered with 2-3 page sections as they were eliminated or moved from one place to another. I was glad the floor was carpeted to help with constant kneeling. How did that come together as a book? I’m not sure I can say, but it did. The process had its own wisdom. I was surprised by how many rewrites I needed to do. I was shocked when I thought I was ready to submit but a young editor-in-training read the first 50 pages for free and told me she didn’t care about me (as a character). Of course, I took that personally and left out the last 3 words in my assessment, but in time I knew she was right and rewrote the first chapters of my book to make myself a more vivid character. A lesson I won’t forgot.
“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” ― Ernest Hemingway who went for drama.
Gosh, Elaine, you of course know ALL about this torture. How is it I/we are so blind in evaluating our own manuscripts? I used to tell students, “show, don’t tell!” but my last editor pointed out the umpteen times I broke that rule. 🙁
The story surgeon who how holds my manuscript I am certain will kill some of my darlings, one chapter in particular. I quake as I anticpate her returned notes. But it’s all for the best. Right??
I am happy you are using your sight and touch to bring those monarchs to life right now, a metaphor for creativity of all sorts. You have deserved some “me” time for a while now, and you are honoring these gentle creatures in the process. Thank you, Elaine. You made my day! 🙂
I am very late to the game here, I plead “new grandbaby.” I was intrigued to find you physically cutting and pasting–but yes, there are some phases where I have gone old school where it just makes more bodily sense to be able to see where you’ve put something, rather than scrolling or doing a “find” search to find a given section. You go girl, and with all these cheerleaders (loved Cliff’s dear entry here), you’ll get there. Puff and Toot! (Our old children’s story recorded album of the Little Engine that Could.)
Congratulations on the new arrival, Melodie! That’s the best explanation ever for your break from work.
The “find” search didn’t work in this case, so I numbered paragraphs to be moved and relocated the “chunks” as needed. This is my least favorite part of the revision process, that’s for sure. I like your encouragement from the Little Engine that Could. Thank you, Melodie!
I love that you got down on your hands and knees and literally cut and pasted. Sometimes it’s hard to visually see a project in totality, and if this worked for you, then it’s a great process. Editing can be a bear. I should know—it sometimes feel like that’s all I do. For what it’s worth, your book was amazing and knowing that others found your story compelling must reinforce that all of the hard work was worth it.
Yes, indeedy, Pete! Now I’m working on a different project. I thought previous experience would make the process easier, but–not so. Happy writing! 😀