What Help Looks like
What Sparked the Inspiration for this Blog Post?
Apparently out of nowhere, this rectangular item from the “olden days” appeared in one of my bedroom dresser drawers. It has probably been there for a long time, but I haven’t noticed it . . . until now.
It’s a flashcard. Probably from the 1960s, maybe earlier. (Flashcards with quaint drawings were used to help early readers recognize words on sight.)
The image of the big sister with pigtails helping her little brother learn to walk ignited another picture in my mind, one from Aunt Ruthie Longenecker’s archives of old 16-millimeter home movies.
YouTube – Sisters, Grandma, and Flowers, Ruth M. Longenecker archives
This video clip shows me with my sisters and our Grandma Longenecker, displaying her glorious gloxinia flowers. It also illustrates my “helping” my youngest sister to pose for the camera, by slyly pushing her to stay seated as I try to hold my gaze for the camera. As you can tell, I fit the profile of the helpful older sister.
Photo of sisters and of me holding brother Mark. In this snapshot from a video, my pigtails have become braids wound around my head, wearing a large prayer covering in my early teens. The large cap covered my thick hair.
In this excerpt from my memoir Mennonite Daughter, I have met Cliff, who would become my husband, and we are comparing notes about our families as we begin to get acquainted.
“I have a brother Larry and two sisters, Joyce and Kathy. I call Kathy Sissy-bones
because she is tiny and smart and nine years younger than I. I taught her to walk, and
then her ABC’s and numbers.”
“Just like my brother Mark,” I mentioned, whom I thought of as my first baby,
born when I was twelve. I most certainly bottle fed him, changed his diapers, and cheered
him on in his first wobbly steps.” Just like on the flashcard.
From Chapter 39 Flying the Coop, Mennonite Daughter: The Story of a Plain Girl
***
Fred Rogers and the News
News of late has been dire. It seems designed to make us feel fearful or angry. For weeks, months, years now we have beheld catastrophes and unsettling political and sociological news along with updates about the state of our planet. As I write these words, I read that cocaine use is surging again in America and that hurricane Imelda may be poised to hit Florida! All those news items sound terrible, grievous to hear. It makes me feel bad, but I have limited mental or emotional bandwidth to address huge problems beyond my control.
Tom Hanks playing Fred Rogers on the re-created set of “It’s Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”
Fred Rogers of “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood” TV fame has an insight about the dilemma of hearing bad news and then deciding how to respond to it. As he tries to console those who view newscasts and sound-bytes from the media with horror, he says, “If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.”
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” NIV
Can you identify with the idea of helping in your birth family? Your family now?
Do you pay attention to the news? In what way?
How does knowing about current events affect you?
Bonus, boy helping woman with her shoe (Click on link in bold)
Good morning, Marian! You know I’m very fond of Mr. Rogers and his idea of looking for the helpers. 😊
I know as the oldest child, you were definitely a big help to your parents and your siblings. I suppose I helped my younger sister when we were little, but we’re less than 2 years apart. My siblings and I helped my mother a lot in her final years.
As for the news–I never watch TV news, which always seems to be so in your face with everything being an emergency. It can all be overwhelming, and that’s when it’s time to exercise or read a novel. I think the feeling of being overwhelmed and powerless is what some want people to feel. I try to do what I can–write, speak out, donate, etc.
Hi, Merril! I remember how you helped your mother in her final years when I learned how artistic she was.
Yes, when I created this post, I did think of how you say “Look for the helpers and be one when you can.” That advice never gets old.
I like too how you record scenery from your morning walks and bake golden loaves in your kitchen.
Thanks for speaking out–here–and closer to home! 😀
Hi Marian, you are very welcome!
Thank you for being a helper–and for being such a loyal reader of my posts! 💙
My pleasure, Merril!
Good morning! I love these reminders. I had to study the photo of Fred Rogers — oh that was Tom Hanks! I knew something was wrong with the face …. ! I had never seen Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers. But I do remember our daughters loving to watch Mr. Rogers.
Yes, and thanks for the reminder to look for the helpers. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Melodie! 😀
Yes, my kids liked Mr. Rogers too, who always planted good thoughts in our kids’ minds and heart. 😀
Hope is a gift! Thank you, Marian!
You’re very welcome, Jack! 😀
What a lovely post, Marian. So, dare I state the obvious, helpful? Great advice from you and from Mr. Rogers. I wish news programs would show more of what is helpful or uplifting. There has been a lot of negative news. But I’m grateful that you are one of the helpers–someone who chooses to be cheerful and to celebrate beauty. As for your questions, the news reports remind me to pray!
Both you and I choose beauty which often contradicts what’s ugly. Thanks for the reminder that network news reminds us to pray, a powerful tool. Thank you, L. Marie! 😀
I thought immediately of Fred Rogers when I saw the tagline. Thank you Marian, it’s a worthwhile reminder to us all. I pay attention to the daily news horrible though it is. I’m always grateful to helping hands that come in all shapes and stripes. I love the 1 Peter vs 4-10.
Yes, we have to be informed, I agree. It’s good to know the basics of current events. But I don ‘t delve into the details especially if it’s negative, and I can’t do anything about it. Thanks for commenting here, Susan. I’m glad you noticed the encouragement of I Peter 4-10. 😀
Marian, I think your late-life career as a blogger fits your life-long commitment to helping. Your comments here, and your faithfulness in reading and commenting on the posts of others, have brought hope and help to many. As long as you write, I will read. Thanks for being a helper!
Shirley, you have the notable ability to see the big picture. Thank you!
You are a constant commenter and encourager to me. “As long as you write, I will read” you say. And I will do the same! 😀
Reflecting on what Mr. Rogers said, I think he’s right. Every time I see or read about people rushing in to help others, the awfulness of our current times lifts a little.
I like how you express helping as a push-back to the daily doom we hear.
You are in such a busy season now with launch day today; thanks so much for taking time to comment, Liz!
READERS: You can find a link to Liz’s new book here: https://lizgauffreau.com/2025/10/01/the-weight-of-snow-and-regret-launch-day/ 😀
Wow, that clip of Mr. Rogers is so insightful (and shows another side of him not geared towards children.) I do watch the news, it’s actually important to me to know what is going on. And I do see residents after an earthquake moving dirt and bricks to free people and I do see citizens run to a car on fire to pull the driver out. I think (hope) that it is a human’s instinct to jump into action. A Nicaraguan man was hospitalized after trying to save Malcolm Jamal Warner in a rip current. It’s comforting to know that these responders are all around us, all the time; may that never change. I also LOVE that you have these home movies. It’s really special. I don’t have anything like that and it’s a loss. Thanks, Marian.
Melanie, thank you for reminding us about the helpful Nicaraguan man, which I think I saw a reference to. Yes, we must know what’s going on BUT also the good stuff as well. Thanks for reminding us.
Yes, I am fortunate to have home movies from so long ago. My Aunt Ruthie, a single woman, had disposable funds to buy a movie camera, something my parents could never have afforded at the time. 😀
You are so cute and “helpful” in the old video, Marian. What a gift to still have that clip from the archives – and then make it into a YouTube video? I dunno, sounds technical to me. Cliff help you? 🙂 I loved Mr. Rogers and usually sat with my kids when they watched his show (even though it was supposed to be ‘me’ time to work). His voice was slow and mesmerizing, and his message was good and kind. Full of heart. I wish he was still around. We all need to be helpers – to our family, friends, strangers, and how about this? To ourselves as well.
Thank you, Pam.
About the video: I took an .mov file and just dropped the file into YouTube, which does the technical stuff for you ipso-presto. (Of course, you have to set up at YouTube account first.) Cliff helps me with lots of other things though, yesterday converting an Adobe file to a WORD document without paying extra. I consider myself rather a novice in the tech world, but thanks for the compliment.
I like to spread cheer on my blog as do you–with your charming stories and whodunits! 😀
I think we were on the same page with our blog posts this time, Marian—the older sister helping the younger siblings and trying hard to be nice about it! Now we are still the older ones (seniors 😌) who often need the help, when we are so accustomed to giving it, not receiving it! A lesson in humility!
Elfrieda, you point out the truth: now we often need the help, when we are so accustomed to giving it. I remember years ago thinking about this transition when my daughter offered to host Thanksgiving dinner. I knew it was for the best; I had mixed feelings. Yes, it is a lesson in humility! 😀
I love Fred’s message of, “Look for the helpers.” They will be there. Most people rise to the occasion when they see someone in need.
My response to global or national tragedies is to focus on what I can do on a small scale in my community. The main lesson is when we help someone in need, we’re passing on that message of hope, even when things are at their gloomiest.
I like your mantra: “Who Will You Inspire Today?” Giving inspiration is a form of hope, so helpful, especially in your community. Thanks for checking in during this sad time, Pete. ((( )))
I read too much news, but it does no good. Instead, I donate a little money to helpful organizations like Doctors Without Borders. I always loved Fred Rodgers and the essential idea to look for the helpers. We have to look especially hard in recent times, but I have family and friends and know they are there for me. I’ve done a lot of helping in my life and now it’s my turn to receive the help I need. With peace and love.
As it happens, I have a Doctors without Borders bag hanging on my office door–I must have donated a while back.
Yes, you have done a lot of helping in your life and now it’s your turn to receive the help you need. May you continue to be blessed, Elaine! 😀
I helped Mom a lot as I was the oldest and the only girl. My youngest brother is 16 years younger than me so I did most of the looking after of him for the first couple of years. We are still very close. I have no use for news and manage on the 5 minutes we get on the radio at the top of the hour. That is all I need to know. It is no wonder people are suffering from depression at an alarming rate. I love your old photos and videos. Thanks for sharing them. Wishing you and Cliff a great weekend. xo
You do fit the profile of the oldest child, as I do.
I take news in sparingly too. It’s essential to know the basics, but I need cheer, not gloom in my days. Have a great weekend–maybe rest a little! 😀
I enjoyed the nostalgia in this post Marian. A nice nod to Mr. Rogers who was good at teaching children the importance of being a helper. And your video was darling. 💜
Thank for popping in here, Debby!
Yes, I had the behaviors of the oldest child very early as video certifies. Label me bossy–ha! 😀
A wonderful post, Marian. Being the youngest in my family, I smiled at how you italicized being helpful to your younger sister. But being the mother of four children, I was very appreciative when the older ones helped me with the younger ones!
Once my mother remarked how a certain woman took care of so many children. I remember Grandma Longenecker saying to her, “Well, the older ones help the younger ones.” This is true! Thanks for checking in, Barb! 😀
It comes natural to me to help others in need. As a matter of fact, I used to think of actions and kindnesses like these as “common sense” before I realized that my common sense seems to be different from other people’s common sense, which appears to be missing greatly in the world. I block out US politics and worldwide dramas these days, Marian, and try to live a “happy life” away from it all.
I know you’re naturally a helper–and partner to Mark.
Like you, I block out politics and other horrible news, but I send off checks for food to people in need. Thanks, Liesbet. 😀