Today, July 23rd, is my mother’s birthday. If she were still alive, she’d be 107 years old now. Ruth Landis Metzler grew up in a Mennonite family on a farm near Manheim, Pennsylvania, the first daughter of Abram Hernley Metzler and Sadie Landis Metzler, born after four sons.
Except for her honeymoon and short trips, she never ventured far beyond the 12 1/2 miles between Manheim and Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania. My memoir elaborates on her close connection to home and family:
My mother enjoyed the titles of housewife and mother, never wishing for anything more out of life that I could tell. Eighth grade was the limit of her schooling and then, she said, she looked forward to being a farmer’s wife. Instead she fell in love with Daddy, a farm implement dealer with land – close enough to the fields, she may have thought. “You’re the prettiest thing I ever saw,” were Dad’s words to her when they were dating, a statement Mom repeated to us recalling her husband’s being smitten with her jet black hair, innocent brown eyes and shapely figure. Her house was small enough to warrant calling it her dollhouse in later years. Back then we were her dolls, so she told her grandniece just a few years ago, except of course when we misbehaved. Then she threw up her hands, at a loss. She never told us she thought of us as her dolls.
Ruth Metzler at Lime Rock School, circa 1925
Mother’s girlfriends were church friends at Erb’s Mennonite Church near Lititz, PA. Here they are gathered on the lawn at the home of her Sunday School teacher, Kathryn Bomberger. The photographer apparently colorized this photo in an era of typically black and white photography.
After a home wedding in 1940, the couple honeymooned at Niagara Falls, New York. Later, they made a trip to Watkins Glen, New York, where my father seems uncharacteristically relaxed and my mother has her head “tied shut” with a bandana with a loose weave and fringe.
Vacation in the early days: Probably Watkins Glen, New York
Yes, Daddy was a farm implement dealer, but he and mother also farmed plots of land in the village of Rheems, Pennsylvania, and in Bainbridge, PA. Here Mother is working in the tobacco fields on the 9.1 acre land in Bainbridge. Later, after an evangelist came through Lancaster County, condemning tobacco farming, their crops turned to corn and tomatoes.
Most likely, Grandma Longenecker and Aunt Ruthie took care of my sisters Janice, Jean, and me when our parents tended the tobacco fields.
My mother is smiling beside brother Mark and sister Jean. Janice is probably leaving the table as I snapped the photograph, circa 1955.
The kitchen was Mother’s happy place: She loved to cook and she loved to eat, but disciplining three girls born within a 5-year span sometimes got the best of her, as this memoir excerpt from Chapter 12 elaborates:
I would hear her mutter, “Oh, Mother” and when we acted disobedient or ungrateful, she would belt out in a 5-note range of descending tones “You’ll never miss your mother till she’s gone,” a lament possibly prompted by her own mother’s untimely death from tuberculosis or diphtheria when she was just nine years old. Mom could never tolerate a cold house. When I grew older, I asked her about the day her mother died. It was then she told me that the fire in the furnace went out that day. All the rooms were cold. It made sense to me then that a cold house equated to death in my mother’s mind.
I had the benefit of two homes. My grandma and aunt lived less than a mile from us down over the hill, and we volleyed between the two during the summer months. My aproned mother and grandmother shared canning and freezing tasks June through August. It looks like peaches were on the menu this day in 1966.
After I married and started a family of my own in Florida, we traveled to Pennsylvania every Christmas and most summers, when we had a break from teaching and the children were out of school. Mother and our young children are sitting in the wan sun with their happy grandmother in 1973.
Years later, this little boy in my lap became a photography major at Florida State University and snapped the photo below of my mother during his gap year in Pennsylvania. Mother hated to pose for pictures, but my mother smiled broadly for the camera this time, when her grandson complimented her, “You’re so beautiful,” words he said to encourage her to smile.
Yes, I agree, she was aging gracefully in 1992.
I did mention that Mother never traveled far from home, but she was enticed to fly to the big city when her two oldest grandsons were born in Chicago, March 2004. We took an elevator to the top floor of the Hancock Building, a mind-blowing experience for Mom, as her facial expression suggests.
All her life, Mother kept her hands busy. Although she eventually gave up gardening, she made an effort to keep warm the needy people in the world by knotting comforters, here in pink and blue. Besides lavender, these were her favorite colors.
I took this photograph in 2012 when we gathered around the table for breakfast. This picture eventually became her obituary photo in 2014.
The house still stands through all seasons on Anchor Road, and another family lives there, but it’s not the same without Mother.
Mother knew I wrote blog posts, but she never read either of my books.
She’d be shyly happy that today I’ve reached 700 posts.
Can you pick out my mother in the group photo?
What childhood or adult memories of your mother stand out?
Have you preserved them in pictures or in another way?
How special. I picked out your mother in the group picture right away. We were both lucky to have such special mothers. My mom also loved to cook and bake, and she passed that love on to me. I have many photos of my mother and look at them often. As you are aware, I’m reading her diary that she kept as a teenager. I am loving it and taking my time. I miss my mom a lot, but every time I think of her, I smile.
We both have a wonderful heritage. I’m glad you have your mom’s teenage diary. (Maybe you’ll write about it on your blog or create a book!)
My mom didn’t keep a diary, but she faithfully wrote letters to me in college and after I started a family and moved to Florida. Thanks, Darlene! 😀
Good morning, Marian! You are fortunate to have such a treasure trove of family photos. What a lovely tribute to your mother! The love shines through. I agree that she looks beautiful in the photo snapped by her grandson.
You have close family ties too, which are often included in your Monday Musings. Thanks for noticing the details, Merril! 😀
You’re welcome, Marian.😊
I enjoyed this summary of your mother”s life. I feel I have known her through your books and many posts, but each new essay helps me see and hear her better. “You’ll never miss your mother ’till she’s gone” is a refrain you have experienced at many levels. Your parents and mine traveled to the same two places — Niagara Falls and Watkins Glen. I’m off to the Young Center at E-town College. Will think of you on the road between Manheim and E-Town.
So many parallels in our lives, and how wonderful that you have come full circle, living now back in Lancaster County. Taking the country road between Lititz and E-Town is lovely–definitely more scenic than using Route 283.
By the way, Jeff Bach, director of the Young Center Emeritus, wrote a nice blurb for my first memoir, Mennonite Daughter: The Story of a Plain Girl. If you visit the museum at the Young Center, you can find some memorabilia from my family: a large, ancient Bible and some artifacts from my father’s shop. Enjoy your day, Shirley! 😀
Very moving memories, Marian. Thank you! jack
Your welcome, Jack. Thanks for checking in! 😀
What a lovely tribute to your wonderful mom, Marian! I remember another post where you showed your mom and grandmother during the canning process. It was memorable because of that bright smile! How wonderful to have these photos of your family. I barely have any of my grandmother–certainly none from her wedding.
I think of my mom taking my brothers and me on the bus. This was before she learned to drive. She finally got her driver’s license when I was six.
Yes, I’ve used the “canning” picture multiple times on my blog and Facebook. I think the bright smile says it all. Bravo to your mom for learning to drive. Mine didn’t get a license until we children left home. Without it, they would have been stranded–ha! Thank, L. Marie. 😀
This is such a lovely tribute to your mother. When I need to feel close to my mother’s spirit, I write about her in a poem or short story.
I think you’ve just described the impulse behind this tribute and others I’ve written. Thanks for mentioning it here, Liz. 😀
You’re welcome, Marian. 🙂
Thank you for this special post!
You’re welcome, Conrad!
You honor your mother as well with your Facebook photos and posts. She was definitely a benevolent presence, a sweet spirit. Oh, the precious memories! 😀
This is lovely. Thanks for sharing your memories and photos. I adore the pic of your aproned mother and grandmother doing the canning with smiles on their faces. When I was a girl I used to make strawberry jam and green pepper jelly with my mother who enjoyed doing that… like she had with her mother.
Food through the generations sounds like a great topic for both of us. Thanks for sharing memories of strawberry jam and green pepper jelly–yum! 😀
Happy heavenly birthday to your Mum Marian. Lovely photos. I think middle row 2nd from left? The family resemblance is strong.
Thank you, Susan. You’re right about identifying Mother in the photo. Yes, I do look like her! 😀
She was beautiful–and talented. Thanks for sharing your beautiful mother in this blog. Many of my family photos are in boxes upstairs and I need to sort them and throw out many. I’ve begun the project a few times, but get overwhelmed by the number of photos my mother took. Most of the sorting is discarding since I don’t know many of the people in the photos–and if they aren’t labeled with a name or place, out they go.
I understand overwhelm and felt it several times culling through photos and other memorabilia in Mother’s house. Maybe spend just 20-30 minutes with the pictures; you’ll probably find some treasures.
Cliff says, “There should have been a law about labeling names and dates on pictures!” But there’s no going back, of course. Nowadays, digital photos have a date stamp, a good thing.
It’s always good to hear from you, Elaine. Thank you! 😀
Congratulations on your 700th bog post, Marian, and what a lovely way to celebrate it remembering your mother’s life: A beautiful tribute indeed. She would have loved it.
You are right–mother would have loved the tribute but she’d feel shy about showing it. In her world, being promoted edged toward pride, and we can’t have that.
Fatima, you are first to notice my blog post number. Thanks so much. 😀
Hi Marian, a beautiful tribute to your mother. I wrote my mother’s fictionalised memoire, While the Bombs Fell, with her. She has become prone to mood swings and aggressive behaviour since having chemotherapy in 2024. It changed her personality.
I had no idea, Robbie. Thanks for including the back story of your historical fiction. While the Bombs Fell. I hope your collaboration with your mother helped her physically and mentally. 😀
I didn’t realize that your maternal grandmother’s maiden name was Landis. Another interesting connection.
Howard, now you know we are REALLY related. If we did a detailed genealogy study, we’d probably find more connections. Thanks for checking in today, second cuz! 😀
I know I read it in the book, but I love how your dad thought your mom “was the prettiest thing I ever saw.” Sweet. That’s very interesting about the condemnation of tobacco farming; a small piece on the history of America. And actually, every one of these photos are as well, Marian! They really are an American treasure too. I’m a little sad that you mom didn’t read either book, but I’m glad she would have liked the 700 posts count. Wow! 😊
Not all Mennonites abstained from tobacco farming back then. Some who thought they’d lose the family farm-house, barn, and acreage still persisted.
If you remember, I told the truth about my father in my first memoir, some details Mother would not have appreciated. She did know about my writing and I think she liked the photos, for many of which she was behind the camera.
Welcome back from vacation land, Melanie! 😀
I do remember the truths shared in your first book and now I completely understand, and I also wondered if every farmer happily complied. They did not; interesting. And thanks, we wore ourselves out (but in the best way.) We’re happy to be home. 😊
My mother wrote letters to her mother from Paraguay to Canada for several years when we children were young.My sister found them in a cereal box my grandmother kept and she gave them to me. I translated them as they were written in German. I‘m so glad I did, as the originals somehow disappeared during a move!
You have many talents and knowing several languages is one of them. How fortunate you could keep those precious letters alive. I can see a blog title sometime: “What We Found in My Grandma’s Cereal Box.” Maybe?
Thanks for always adding something special to the conversation, Elfrieda! 😀
What a beautiful tribute! Xoxo
Thanks, Jenn! 😀
You are so fortunate to have all those photos from way back when, Marian. I hope my parents have some oldies in their possession, because all I own are photos of my immediate family, no further back than my grandparents, and all in color. Oh the memories…
You never know, your parents may have a treasure trove of photos–and other memorabilia. That would open up a totally different topic for you to explore.
I hope you three are doing well these days. Thanks, Liesbet! 😀
I suspect your mom was a great woman, considering she raised a daughter like you. It’s remarkable to think that in such a vast world, she rarely traveled away from her immediate surroundings.
Thanks for the compliment, Pete.
About traveling, I remember when Daddy died, she said, “Now we’ll never get to Switzerland!” With him gone, she didn’t want to go abroad to the land of our ancestry without her husband. :-/
Oh Marian ..Congratulations on 700 posts what lovely photographic memories you have…Thank you for sharing 🙂 x
You’re welcome, Carol. Yes, I am indeed blessed. Many photos have been bequeathed to me. . . family recipes also. 😀
Some of the early photos of your mother look a lot like you!!
Yes, I hear that a lot–probably because it’s true.
Thanks for checking in, Melodie. 😀
Thanks for sharing some of your life and snippets of your memoir with us Marian. You look like your mom. Interesting we both lost our mothers in 2014. Hugs 😘
I believe you had a fraught relationship with your mother. Still, the loss hurts.
My mother was healthy all her life. Then she developed a pernicious infection and died in 5 days. I bemoaned the fact that she was gone so quickly, but then a doctor friend told me if she had recovered, she’d be in rehab for a long time, which she’d hate. So, it’s okay. Thanks, Debby! 😀